The other month I was getting my kids showered after swimming lessons with only 1 other mum and 2 little girls left in the change rooms. When the mum first walked in to the bathroom she had seemed distracted and quite frustrated at her girls. She had yelled and screamed at the girls not to get in the shower, but they did anyway, at which point she sat on her phone ignoring them for the next 5 minutes as her girls played. Then all of a sudden the mum let out a huge yell, making me and my midgets literally jump in fright, and she continued to scream at her girls to get out of the shower and get dressed.
My instance reaction was, to be honest, contempt for this mum. I mean as if these small kids are going get dressed and ready as mum sits on her phone ignoring them. So in my true, non-confrontational fashion, I scurried out of the change rooms (slightly afraid!) and jumped into our car as fast as I could.
But as I buckled up I had a thought that made me feel pretty crappy…
What if that mum was just having a shit-house day…?
I know I’ve had hundreds of them myself, and I know that when I’m in the trenches of those shitty days I couldn’t give a crap who watches my crazy outbursts. I have no idea if anyone recently saw me pinning Axel to the floor in Kmart as he refused to sit in timeout. He screamed and kicked at me until I negotiated a plea bargain. I know a few ladies have witnessed me in Cole’s aisle 10 playing referee to 2 kids fighting & kicking in the trolley. Me threatening everything except their dear lives through clenched teeth, because we all know that clenched teeth threats mean you are totally stuffed when we get home and out of public!
So who was I to sit there and judge this mum on her shitty day in the swimming change rooms? Just because her kids seemed to be behaving well enough, who knows what the little terrorists had succumbed her too up until that point, her breaking point.
Most of the time, as parents, we are just doing the best job we can under some pretty harsh conditions. If parenting was a union site we would definitely be awarded a number of allowances; working in extreme conditions, working under pressure, working with live animals, working in unsafe terrains, the list is endless. Under these harsh (unpaid) conditions we are faced with many challenges and I think that each and every one of you are doing a bloody AMAZING job, no matter your circumstance!
I think you’re pretty awesome if you have 1 kid
I think you’re pretty awesome if you have 2 kids
I think you’re fucking amazing if you have 3+ kids
I think you’re awesome if you’re a stay at home mum
I think you’re awesome if you work part-time
I think you’re fucking awesome if you work full-time
I think you’re awesome if you bottle feed your kids
I think you’re awesome if you breastfeed your kids
I think you’re awesome if your kid goes to child-care
I think you’re awesome if you never get your kid baby sat
I think you’re awesome if you can refrain from swearing at your kids
I think you’re fucking awesome if you tell them to piss off
I think you’re awesome just for making it through the day
And don’t even get me started on single parents, you guys should get the biggest awesome award!
Rewind back to that change room a few months ago and I’d definitely do things differently. Instead of scurrying out, I’d give that mum a little wry smile or shrug of the shoulders to let her know my kids can be arseholes too and I’ve been in her position more than once. And if she seemed open to it, I’d ask her if she needed a hand, because us parents need to stick together… And drink wine!
PS. I have seen this mumma many times since and she most definitely was just having a shitty day.
Cheers, love and survival,
Stace xxoo
bakedbeansmumma 